I have just finished a feat I have been trying to accomplish for the last five years - since my brother died. I wanted to make a book of his life and give it to his children so they and their children can remember him. It was truly one of the hardest things I have ever done. I could barely get through one page without tears. I wonder if it will ever get easier - will I ever not cry - as I am doing now just thinking about him and how his life was shortened way too soon?
He was 40 years old when he died on March 6, 2006. I had not always been close to him but near the end, I tried to reconnect and let him know how much I loved him and how much he was loved by the Lord. I believe he knew this. I believe this is part of the reason he had cancer - so he would recount his life and know God's faithfulness. I also believe this is why he was free from cancer when he died. God wanted to show him over and over that he is and was very precious to His heavenly Father.
I will miss him until I see him in heaven - I have to believe that even with all his bad decisions in life his one decision to follow Christ changed his destiny forever. I have to believe that he is waiting for us with Jesus. I have to believe that he is not in pain anymore and worshipping the Lord - something I long to do with him someday. I believe. I believe God is strong enough to hold him even through his bad decisions here on earth - even through his turning away to other things. My heavenly Father is faithful and AWESOME. He is mighty to save - forever.
"Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God and there is none like me; declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things that are not yet done; saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure; calling a ravenous bird from the east, the man of my counsel from a far country; yea, I have spoken, I will also bring it to pass; I have purposed, I will also do it." Isaiah 46:9-11